Kids who play alone may just prefer to be solo, according to a new study. Research out of the University of Georgia looked the social behaviour of elementary students and found that kids who appear to be isolated could be perfectly happy, as long as they knew they fit into a larger social setting. The study found these children were confident they would be invited to play, even if they chose not to participate. That surety acted as a buffer against potential loneliness. However, researchers found that children who didn’t value fitting in and often declined requests to play would stop receiving invites. Those kids began to feel left out. Michael Lease, co-author of the study “Belief in the Importance of Belonging Mitigates the Negative Effects of Unsociable Withdrawal,” likened children’s social interactions to healthy habits. “Turning down invitations, like avoiding exercise, leads to poorer outcomes,” he said in a news release from the university. Researchers examined answers from 473 fourth and fifth graders from Georgia elementary schools. The children were asked to identify peers who tend to play alone and to self-report on how they valued belonging. Feelings of belonging The study revealed that kids who valued belonging but preferred to play alone were happy in their individual relationships and with their larger peer group. Researchers suggested this could be a result of accepting enough social invitations to feel like a part of the group, but knowing if they turn down an invite, another opportunity will present itself. Rachel Pfanz, one of the study’s co-authors, explained in the news release, “If they’re invited, they will sometimes participate and socialize with others. That higher importance of belonging drives them to engage in more social invitations when maybe they wouldn’t want to, and that suits them well.” Feelings of loneliness Children who were identified as “not social” by classmates were often unhappy with their position among their peers, according to the study. These kids didn’t like that they often sat alone or weren’t approached for group exercises. Pfanz said that by fourth or fifth grade, social groups are more established and kids have stronger social skills. “At that point, they are better able to recognize who is regularly playing alone and who is becoming isolated.” However, researchers said these students still had good individual relationships, even if they appeared withdrawn in larger settings. While that is positive for the children who feel isolated, researchers added that managing group dynamics is an important childhood skill. What should parents and teachers do? For kids who like to play solo, “maybe don’t ask them to go join the big soccer game right away on the playground. That’s a little overwhelming if they’re already preferring to play alone.” Instead, Pfanz suggested that those children be gently encouraged to join smaller groups with other kids who behave similarly. The study concluded that participation in small, like-minded groups or accepting occasional invites can go a long way in strengthening a child’s social abilities.
