‘Please get yourself tested’: Grieving family’s hope for others after son’s suicide

Andrew Johnson speaks with a family about their heartbreaking story of losing their son, Haider Nayani, who struggled with mental illness and took his own life.

From a young age, Haider Nayani’s mom knew he had a gift.

“Since the beginning, I saw the public speaking talent in him,” said Farida Nayani.

Haider’s influence on people became obvious too. His younger brother, Saif, spent his childhood wanting to be just like him.

“He was the kind of person you instantly wanted to be friends with,” Saif said. “Funniest guy. Always knew the nicest, the right thing to say.”

Haider wasn’t just outgoing, he was smart.

“He was very gifted academically,” said his mom. With a smile, Saif described it a little differently.

“He had a really, really big brain.”

Haider was named valedictorian at Port Moody Secondary. He went on to earn an economics degree, completed the broadcast journalism program at the BC Institute of Technology and excelled in marketing and sales. But Haider’s family says he struggled to find his niche and in hindsight, they say it may have been an early sign of an illness no one recognized at the time.

“Looking back now, I feel he was manifesting things, but it was taken as he’s a restless kid and an overachiever.”

Haider began experiencing depression and was prescribed antidepressants in his mid-20’s. Last year, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, began seeing a psychiatrist, and started new medication. Farida encouraged him to move home.

“He didn’t want to because he had an excellent group of friends and they were very supportive,” she said.

Several months later, Haider reached out to family and friends and admitted himself to Vancouver General Hospital. The family says he was treated for several days and then discharged. Within days, Haider took his own life. He was 31 years old.

“I lost my child,” Farida said through tears. “The system failed him, and I lost my child.”

For his brother, one of the hardest parts of dealing with the loss is that Haider did exactly what experts suggest for someone struggling with their mental health.

“He talked to his friends, he talked to his family, he talked to a psychiatrist, he went to the hospital, he got the medication. He did everything right,” said Saif.

Talking about mental illness remains difficult for many Canadians. Advocates say racialized communities often face additional layers of stigma. Despite their grief, the Nayani family is determined not to stay silent.

“If you are struggling with mental illness and you think it’s depression, if you have any doubt, please get yourself tested for bipolar,” Farida said. “Bipolar can easily go under the radar.”

In Haider’s name, the family is creating a scholarship for journalism students at the B.C. Institute of Technology, called the Haider Nayani Storytelling Award.

“It’s for specifically students who are hoping to shine a light on the stories of people who are underrepresented,” Saif said. “People who especially need a voice, because that’s one of the things Haider was really big on.”

They hope sharing his story helps someone else who is struggling to find their voice, and for their family to recognize the warning signs.

If you or someone you know is in crisis or struggling with mental illness, here are some resources that are available.

Canada Suicide Crisis Helpline (Call or text 988)

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (1-800-463-2338)

Crisis Services Canada (1-833-456-4566 or text 45645)

Kids Help Phone [phone])

If you need immediate assistance, call 911 or go to the nearest hospital.