How to handle a breakup when the love connection isn’t there

Matchmaker Megan Tyschuk joins Kim Wynn to talk about how to break up.

Romance is in the air with Valentine’s Day just ahead on Saturday, but there are also less romantic parts to consider during dating like break ups.

Matchmaker Megan Tyschuk joined Kimberly Wynn on CTV Your Morning Edmonton on Friday to discuss how to break up respectfully during the casual dating period when the love connection isn’t there.

“It’s just about having that conversation,” Tyschuk said during the interview. “Are we on the same page?”

She says to consider asking yourself if you and your date are “matching” in energy and intent, and if the two of you are seeking the same thing out of the relationship.

If the answers lead to “no” and if you are wanting to end the connection, Tyschuk said the respectful way to break things off is to speak up right away.

“Have that moment to say, ‘Hey. I really enjoyed getting to know you. I think what I’m looking for is a little bit different or I’m not feeling a romantic connection there,’” she said.

Also, a part of dating reality is “ghosting” – a term she said is used to describe ending things by simply cutting off contact.

“Ghosting, essentially, is that you’re just a ghost. You’re like dead to the world,” Tyschuk explained. “They (will) never see you again.”

The Edmonton matchmaker says that while ghosting may seem harsh, there is a time when this break up method is appropriate.

“If you’re feeling unsafe or if you’re feeling like there’s disrespect there, you don’t need to follow up,” she said, adding “you don’t owe anyone anything” in those situations.

But what if you are the one who is ghosted? Tyschuk says to remember, “Oftentimes, ghosting … really has nothing to do with you.”

“It can be really hard when you feel like you’ve built a connection with someone and now all of a sudden they’re gone. So I think just having that self-love moment of, ‘OK. I’m going to let myself feel. I’m going to let myself grieve this, and then I’m going to move forward.’”

As for whether to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a new relationship, Tyschuk said it can just be another date.

“You’re going to go on a date anyways, and you enjoy each other, obviously,” she said, stressing that open communication is best. “Sometimes it can feel like a lot of pressure, but have that conversation.”

With files from CTV Edmonton’s Kimberly Wynn